23.

23.
Today is October 14, 2008.
It would've been Alex's 23 birthday today.
3 birthdays without her. 21. 22. 23. 3 of those years that so many of us look back on and say-- man, those were good years. Those were the years that set up so much of what was yet to come. There is so much life to be lived in those years-- babies, engagements, travel, weddings, school, moves, love.
But not for Alex.
Not for my sister.
It is hard to look around and see the things she missed-- the tangible things-- the people she never met, the places she never went, the things she never got a chance to do. And to see the bigger things she couldn't see-- that she was loved, that we wanted to help her, that she was talented and wonderful, that she deserved to live. She should have lived to see these past 3 birthdays.


Billy Bob Thornton told Angelina Jolie when her mom died, "You'll never get over it. It's never going to be OK, and once you accept that, you realize you never want to get over it. Just kind of let it sit with you, and let it be a part of who you now are."

Just as Alex is a part of who we all are, who we all were...
... her death is a part of who we all are now.
We miss you, Al. We love you. It's never going to be OK that you're gone.
I will raise a fork full of cheesecake in your memory tonight, baby sister.
xoxoxoxo.

online registration....

... is available for this year's race: follow this link.
Thanks so much,
gabby

Third Annual Alex DeVinny Memorial Run

I cannot believe it's been over two years since Alex died. It still seems to me like one day she'll just pick up the phone and call-- that she's not really gone-- but I know she is. We've received such incredible support and love from so many people and cannot begin to say thank you to everyone, everywhere who has supported our family through these times.

Two years ago, I wrote these words on this blog:

... it is time to celebrate Alex. It is time to move forward, to prevent this from happening to anyone else-- to keep another family from losing a piece, to save lives from having to fight so hard against mental illness.... there is a race scheduled in her memory. The race is on a cross-country track where Alex, as this absolutely teeny tiny little freshman, set records and flew past her competition. She loved to run, and we loved to watch her.... All proceeds from this race, from the t-shirts designed for the race, and from the foundation established in Alex's name will go to furthering eating disorder research, and to helping those in need access the help they so badly need.

It is time for the third annual Alex DeVinny Memorial Run. Third. Wow. For those of you who've attended-- you know how overwhelming that day is for all of us. It's been an amazing turnout the past two years and I cannot wait to see all those faces, feel all that love again this year. If you are thinking of running/ walking/ attending in any way, that's the official registration form, in jpg format (as I still use good ol' Blogger-- I know of no other way to embed it here. Ever so sorry). Click on it to make it bigger, print it off, send it in-- we cannot wait to see you. Please email me with any questions.

Info: July 12, 2008. Registration begins at 7:30 am, the race itself at 9:00 a.m. at the UW Parkside Cross-Country Course in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

Also-- where in the world is UW-Parkside, you might ask?? It's about an hour south of Milwaukee, and an hour north of Chicago. If you live in Gurnee, Illinois, you're essentially already there. Two hours from Madison, Wisconsin. Yes. Close to everything, really, right??? Click here for a campus map.

Directions: From Milwaukee: Interstate 94 south to Highway E in Kenosha County. East 4 miles. From Chicago: I-94 north to Highway E. East 4 miles. From Madison: I-94 to Milwaukee. I-894 bypass (Chicago exit), I-94 south to Highway E in Kenosha County. East 4 miles. From Kenosha: Access from 30th Avenue (Wood Road), 22nd Avenue, Sheridan Road (Highway 32), or Highway 31. From Racine:Access from Highway 31, Highway 32, or Meachem Road (Highway Y).

Thanks again for all the support and love over the past two years. It means the world to our family.

xoxoxo,g

on hope.

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." - AesopWe wanted to let you all know about an opportunity to help, and at the same time receive some amazing art.Our dad (an artist, and professor of art) has created a suite of prints in memory of my sister's struggle. The intaglio prints are absolutely breathtaking, and such a labor of love."In March of 2006, Alex DeVinny lost the most important race of her life with her long time rival, anorexia nervosa. Many of her last years and months were spent getting or trying to get treatment. While she was in-patient at the treatment facility in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, Lana and I would visit several times a week, making the trip from Racine "through the country." It is a pastoral Wisconsin landscape with scattered farms, many working, many having succumbed to the ravages of time. After her death those architectural relics of what was once strong and productive, became a metaphor for her life, her struggle, and work was started on a suite of etchings, "the Journey to Hope." These prints are not for sale, but rather will be given to those who will donate at least $500 to the Alex DeVinny Memorial Fund. Proceeds from this fund are used to support eating disorder education and research." -Doug DeVinny

I know that sounds like a tremendous amount of money to a lot of you (like me for instance), but in reality each print alone is worth that, and you get 11.

We realize it's out of the question for many, but we also know that we are blessed to be surrounded by an amazing network of creative people... and perhaps some of you are currently on the lookout for some artwork or...
you know someone that is...
you might consider going in with some friends, or a few friends... and then dividing the prints up.

We just wanted to let you all know about this unique opportunity, please let me know if you need more information, or if I can send you a flyer to look over.(ewillard9@gmail.com)
Spread the word. Love to you all. xe and g

second annual Alex DeVinny Memorial run

About a year ago, I wrote these words on this blog:

... it is time to celebrate Alex. It is time to move forward, to prevent this from happening to anyone else-- to keep another family from losing a piece, to save lives from having to fight so hard against mental illness.... there is a race scheduled in her memory. The race is on a cross-country track where Alex, as this absolutely teeny tiny little freshman, set records and flew past her competition. She loved to run, and we loved to watch her.... All proceeds from this race, from the t-shirts designed for the race, and from the foundation established in Alex's name will go to furthering eating disorder research, and to helping those in need access the help they so badly need.

It is hard to believe that its been over a year since Alex died, that it is already time for the second annual Alex DeVinny Memorial Run ---> Click here for registration form.

If you are thinking of running/walking/attending in any way, that's the official registration form, in pdf format. Print it off, send it in-- we cannot wait to see you. Please email me with any questions. Also-- where in the world is UW-Parkside, you might ask?? It's about an hour south of Milwaukee, and an hour north of Chicago. If you live in Gurnee, Illinois, you're essentially already there. Two hours from Madison, Wisconsin. Yes. Close to everything, really, right???

Info:
July 14, 2007
9:00 am
UW Parkside Cross-Country Course in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

Directions:
From Milwaukee: Interstate 94 south to Highway E in Kenosha County. East 4 miles.
From Chicago: I-94 north to Highway E. East 4 miles.
From Madison: I-94 to Milwaukee. I-894 bypass (Chicago exit), I-94 south to Highway E in Kenosha County. East 4 miles.
From Kenosha: Access from 30th Avenue (Wood Road), 22nd Avenue, Sheridan Road (Highway 32), or Highway 31.From Racine:Access from Highway 31, Highway 32, or Meachem Road (Highway Y).

and... a map:











Thanks again for all the support and love over the past year and a half. It means the world to our family.
xoxoxo,
g

yesterday.

Yesterday...
Marked one year since Alex died.
It is unusual to find me without words, but I am about how best, how possibly to put down how we all felt, how we all coped the past few days, and likely through this next weekend.
You don't ever forget. Anything.
I can tell you exactly where I was and what I was doing when my parents called me that Sunday morning to tell me Alex was gone.
My mom and I were talking this weekend and she said her biggest fear is that people are going to forget about Alex now that she's gone.
But I won't let that happen.
We won't let that happen.
But man... it is still so hard.
xoxox,
g

21.

Today is October 14, 2006.
It would've been Alex's 21 birthday.
21.
Wow.
I remember feeling like life was just beginning at 21.
How much was left to do, left to find, left to become.
And it hurts so much to know that she won't ever know those feelings.
Her life stopped
At 20.
20. When there should be so much left ahead.

Today we would've celebrated.
She would've gone shopping
(her favorite thing)
And eaten a ridiculously fabulous dessert somewhere.
Today we should have done those things.
And we can't.
Her life was more fleeting than I ever would've guessed.
And because of that... we are never going to give up the fight.
We love you, Alex.

ee cummings, i carry your heart with me:

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)